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Taking Mindfulness into the New Year

  • 1.  Taking Mindfulness into the New Year

    Posted 12-12-2022 14:30
    Here's something kind of crazy to think about...2023 is less than three weeks away! Doesn't it seem like we just rang in 2022?

    A hallmark of the New Year is resolutions, and I'm making a resolution to take new mindfulness practices into 2023. I also plan to be more consistent about the mindfulness practices I mentioned in a recent Connect post.

    Meditation is at the top of my list to try because I'm not often alone with my thoughts. A few minutes a day to clear my head --- not impeded by a podcast or Netflix series --- seems like a reasonable, easy-to-achieve goal. 

    What are your thoughts about making mindfulness a resolution? Do you find resolutions help or hinder you in the long run?

    @Quinn Drew and @Maria Liccardo, you had some really thoughtful responses last week! What do you think?

    #MindfulnessMonday
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    Taylor Evans Ghosal
    Evanston IL
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  • 2.  RE: Taking Mindfulness into the New Year

    Posted 12-13-2022 07:34

    I think about this every year about this time, @Taylor Evans Ghosal! I don't really love the whole New Year's Resolutions craze - one, because it so rarely works for most folks, and two, because I believe you can set yourself a resolution (or goal) any time of day, week, month, or year. 

    I was listening to a podcast this morning while walking the doggo, and the guest (Carrie Jenkins) was talking about the concept she calls "eudaimonic love" - in comparision to "romantic love," this type of love is about creating something together. We're all taught that "love will make you happy" but her thought on this is that love, in and of itself, doesn't really "make" any of us happy, and it shouldn't have to. Her words might be helpful here: 

    Aiming at happiness doesn't work, trying to make yourself happy actually doesn't tend to make people very happy. I think the same is true for trying to make yourself happy ever after in a romantic sense, it doesn't actually work.

    It's not going to lead to happy ever after for the majority of people. I draw on the work of Victor Frankel who was really influential in seeing that if you are going after happiness you're unlikely to succeed but what you need to do is go after what makes your life meaningful, what has me for you.

    I found this really intriguing! And to wrap this around to mindfulness - one of the things I'm working on with my partner is to be more mindful about how we spend time together. With winter approaching, we are going to start a list of "winter activities" that we can do together that isn't just sitting on the couch, watching TV or playing MarioKart on our phones (though we'll do that, too, I'm sure). So things like: puzzling, coloring, and bundling up to still get out on a couple of bike rides/long walks are definitely on the list.

    Anyone have any other ideas of things we can do/create together over the winter months? 
    @Amy Finkelstein - I feel like you and your boo do lots of cool stuff together! Whatcha got for me?​

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    Stay awesome,
    Quinn
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  • 3.  RE: Taking Mindfulness into the New Year

    Posted 12-13-2022 09:35
    @Quinn Drew, thanks for your perspective! It is true that we can work on changing our mindset any time of the year, and it takes consistent work and commitment. I also enjoyed your list of winter activity ideas. It's quite inspiring!​

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    Taylor Evans Ghosal
    Evanston IL
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  • 4.  RE: Taking Mindfulness into the New Year

    Posted 12-14-2022 09:19
    Interesting about people making resolutions.
    A resolution is a thought of a possibility that you may or may not carry through on. A goal is something you work towards, whether it is a short term or long term one.
    The fact is, if you do not carry through on either, you are then only fooling yourself with idle thoughts.
    You must carry through on commitments to yourself before you can do so with or for others.

    Try communication with others like an old-fashioned conversation without TV, or phones or computers. Get to know each other as people free of the connection via the media.
    Games are nice on a dreary evening but so is just talking.

    May all have a great day or create one.

    Merry Christmas.

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    Rev. Jim Klynman
    Woodstock Ga.
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  • 5.  RE: Taking Mindfulness into the New Year

    Posted 12-15-2022 16:17
    @James Klynman I am with you on goals! I've heard it said that we cannot rely on motivation, because motivation is a feeling that comes and goes. Instead, we need to make a commitment, and follow through whether we are motivated or not. This goes nicely with one of my favorite ways to "keep going": fake it 'til you make it! Like, show up at the gym and tell yourself you're just going to "fake it" for 5 minutes. I (almost) always end up staying for my whole planned workout. It's just a matter of making a commitment to show up.​

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    Maria Liccardo
    Evanston
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  • 6.  RE: Taking Mindfulness into the New Year

    Posted 12-13-2022 15:27
    @Taylor Evans Ghosal @Quinn Drew Do you have a meditation/mindfulness app or guide that you use? Just curious. I have trouble clearing my mind-- especially at this time of year when there seem to be a thousand extra tasks related to the holidays. ​​

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    -Brianne
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  • 7.  RE: Taking Mindfulness into the New Year

    Posted 12-14-2022 08:41

    Wow, lots to respond to in this thread!

    In general, I've tried to reframe my thinking from making resolutions to setting goals, and the main time I do that is at the High Holidays, when I really think about who I want to be and what I want my life to be like in the coming year. And then the new year in January is a chance for me to check in with myself and see if I'm on track or I need to recommit. (Narrator: She needs to recommit.)

    In terms of spending time with a partner, I am all for bundling up and going outside when you can. Fresh air and sunshine is really important for me, and it's easier to get motivated to go out in the cold with another person. I like activities where we're not on our phones, so this is a good one. There's a playground at the end of my partner's block, and if no kids are around, I confess I like the swings. Having that feeling of play every so often is really important (any time of year). Other non-phone activities I like for the winter: more complicated cooking projects that we might not have patience for in the summer (or trying to re-create things we ate at restaurants), long drives to explore a new place, or even side-by-side reading for an hour of quiet with the books we each really meant to read this year.

    Lastly, two recommendations: In the Chicago area, we are big fans of the hot buttered rum at Rogers Park Social, and it gives us a winter treat to look forward to. And because we are also talking about meditation, I sometimes use an app called Relax & Rest to help me quiet my mind and get to sleep.
      



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    Amy Finkelstein
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  • 8.  RE: Taking Mindfulness into the New Year

    Posted 12-15-2022 16:26
    @Amy Finkelstein 100% on reading side by side! My husband and I started having reading nights together to break up the string of TV nights during the pandemic. We have a fireplace, so we get a roaring fire going, make some warm beverages, and read, occasionally popping up to share what we've learned, or describe the exciting plot twist depending on what we're each reading. Nerdy, but really fun and cozy!​

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    Maria Liccardo
    Evanston
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  • 9.  RE: Taking Mindfulness into the New Year

    Posted 12-16-2022 10:42
    @Maria Liccardo your reading nights sound so fun! Having conversations about your respective books with your partner is such a good idea. It creates new conversations and you may inspire each other to read something new.​

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    Taylor Evans Ghosal
    Evanston IL
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  • 10.  RE: Taking Mindfulness into the New Year

    Posted 12-15-2022 16:19
    @Brianne Haxton I use a free app called Medito. Honestly, that app is what got me to eventually meditate every day...I love it!​

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    Maria Liccardo
    Evanston
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  • 11.  RE: Taking Mindfulness into the New Year

    Posted 12-14-2022 11:00
    There are lots of great discussions going on here!

    @Brianne Haxton I like to set the timer on my phone for 3-5  minutes and use that time to sit in silence and clear my mind. Forbes recently published this list of mindfulness apps that could be worth a try!

    @Amy Finkelstein Such thoughtful responses! Framing January as a time to examine whether or not you're "on track" is a good idea. And thanks for sharing your non-phone winter ideas. It's important to put down the smartphone and try something new to beat the winter blahs.

    @James Klynman I really appreciate your thoughts about goals vs. resolutions. It complements what @Quinn Drew said about setting resolutions and/or goals anytime of the year!


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    Taylor Evans Ghosal
    Evanston IL
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