Open Forum

As someone who has a pretty energetic and emotive personality style, I've often grappled with the same question(s) Dan Clay wonders in his 4 minute video, "Why you should bring your whole self to work." If you've got 5 minutes, I highly recommend watching. If you don't have that time today, bookmark it and come back to it when you can. Either way, consider one of his last thoughts: 

"There's no one kind of way to be a leader. It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them." 

What are some of your individual strengths? How have you found ways to highlight them in your work? Have you ever been surprised by the reactions of your coworkers, clients, or bosses?


About the video: Dan Clay was worried about being dismissed as "too gay" at work, so he dialed down his personality. But then his alter ego, Carrie Dragshaw, went viral online. Here's what happened next.


------------------------------
- Drew
------------------------------

Gosh, I loved this video. Thanks for sharing!

One thing I took from it was how to be the ally of authenticity-- be the boss/colleague who says, "Wow, Cosmo!" <3

------------------------------
Brianne Haxton
Rotary International
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 05-19-2020 07:24
From: Courtney Drew
Subject: Is Authenticity Off Limits?

As someone who has a pretty energetic and emotive personality style, I've often grappled with the same question(s) Dan Clay wonders in his 4 minute video, "Why you should bring your whole self to work." If you've got 5 minutes, I highly recommend watching. If you don't have that time today, bookmark it and come back to it when you can. Either way, consider one of his last thoughts: 

"There's no one kind of way to be a leader. It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them." 

What are some of your individual strengths? How have you found ways to highlight them in your work? Have you ever been surprised by the reactions of your coworkers, clients, or bosses?


About the video: Dan Clay was worried about being dismissed as "too gay" at work, so he dialed down his personality. But then his alter ego, Carrie Dragshaw, went viral online. Here's what happened next.


------------------------------
- Drew
------------------------------

One of my strengths is creativity! 

Unfortunately, in my past life I've found that creativity is not always welcomed and supported in environments where "this is how we've always done it" even when some innovation might really be helpful. That means that I've often channeled creativity into "extracurricular" outlets and personal hobbies. 
Joining a work group, starting a book club, creating networks to connect.

Thanks for sharing!

------------------------------
Elisa Meggs
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 05-19-2020 07:24
From: Courtney Drew
Subject: Is Authenticity Off Limits?

As someone who has a pretty energetic and emotive personality style, I've often grappled with the same question(s) Dan Clay wonders in his 4 minute video, "Why you should bring your whole self to work." If you've got 5 minutes, I highly recommend watching. If you don't have that time today, bookmark it and come back to it when you can. Either way, consider one of his last thoughts: 

"There's no one kind of way to be a leader. It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them." 

What are some of your individual strengths? How have you found ways to highlight them in your work? Have you ever been surprised by the reactions of your coworkers, clients, or bosses?


About the video: Dan Clay was worried about being dismissed as "too gay" at work, so he dialed down his personality. But then his alter ego, Carrie Dragshaw, went viral online. Here's what happened next.


------------------------------
- Drew
------------------------------

I really appreciate this message.  Disguising and suppressing your authentic self is exhausting. For all of my career I've had to deny my authentic female self, forced to adhere to a litany of things that women should do, should NOT do, quash your "feminine" instincts and find your inner male, as it were. Case in point:  in one performance review, I was taken to task once for being "too much like a mom."  The offending characteristics were not specified, but the message was clear that being "like a mom" is a bad thing. I can attest that the skills I've learned "being a mom" are more than applicable in the workplace.  They are crucial .  "You're too much like a dad" said no one, ever.

You can't be your best self and do your best work if you can't bring your whole toolbox to work with you. Being an ally goes a long way to helping each other express themselves with authenticity and care. It's gratifying to see the workplace evolve in this way.

------------------------------
Colette Martin-Wilde
Back room office, 1st floor, brick house.
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 05-19-2020 07:24
From: Courtney Drew
Subject: Is Authenticity Off Limits?

As someone who has a pretty energetic and emotive personality style, I've often grappled with the same question(s) Dan Clay wonders in his 4 minute video, "Why you should bring your whole self to work." If you've got 5 minutes, I highly recommend watching. If you don't have that time today, bookmark it and come back to it when you can. Either way, consider one of his last thoughts: 

"There's no one kind of way to be a leader. It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them." 

What are some of your individual strengths? How have you found ways to highlight them in your work? Have you ever been surprised by the reactions of your coworkers, clients, or bosses?


About the video: Dan Clay was worried about being dismissed as "too gay" at work, so he dialed down his personality. But then his alter ego, Carrie Dragshaw, went viral online. Here's what happened next.


------------------------------
- Drew
------------------------------

@Colette Martin-Wilde I've experienced this dynamic as well. It's not enough to present ideas confidently, but there's another layer of consideration around making sure we're very considerate of others while also being likable and not "know-it-alls." It's a lot to balance, and something I don't think the other gender needs to consider as heavily, although I'd welcome the other gender to comment. :) 

Don't get me wrong, there's a place for stylistic and "how others will perceive you" feedback, however women tend to get a heavier dose of this than men, in my experience. This kind of non-tangible feedback is harder to improve upon, and meanwhile we may be missing out on something skills- or relationship-oriented that we could also be improving to help us get ahead, know our stuff, and present ourselves confidently as well.

------------------------------
Nicole Daines
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 05-20-2020 08:43
From: Colette Martin-Wilde
Subject: Is Authenticity Off Limits?

I really appreciate this message.  Disguising and suppressing your authentic self is exhausting. For all of my career I've had to deny my authentic female self, forced to adhere to a litany of things that women should do, should NOT do, quash your "feminine" instincts and find your inner male, as it were. Case in point:  in one performance review, I was taken to task once for being "too much like a mom."  The offending characteristics were not specified, but the message was clear that being "like a mom" is a bad thing. I can attest that the skills I've learned "being a mom" are more than applicable in the workplace.  They are crucial .  "You're too much like a dad" said no one, ever.

You can't be your best self and do your best work if you can't bring your whole toolbox to work with you. Being an ally goes a long way to helping each other express themselves with authenticity and care. It's gratifying to see the workplace evolve in this way.

------------------------------
Colette Martin-Wilde
Back room office, 1st floor, brick house.

Original Message:
Sent: 05-19-2020 07:24
From: Courtney Drew
Subject: Is Authenticity Off Limits?

As someone who has a pretty energetic and emotive personality style, I've often grappled with the same question(s) Dan Clay wonders in his 4 minute video, "Why you should bring your whole self to work." If you've got 5 minutes, I highly recommend watching. If you don't have that time today, bookmark it and come back to it when you can. Either way, consider one of his last thoughts: 

"There's no one kind of way to be a leader. It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them." 

What are some of your individual strengths? How have you found ways to highlight them in your work? Have you ever been surprised by the reactions of your coworkers, clients, or bosses?


About the video: Dan Clay was worried about being dismissed as "too gay" at work, so he dialed down his personality. But then his alter ego, Carrie Dragshaw, went viral online. Here's what happened next.


------------------------------
- Drew
------------------------------

@Nicole Daines for sure! I've been keenly aware of that fine line women have to walk between being assertive enough to be taken seriously, but not so much that they're called...adjectives that would not as often be applied to men. This is a consideration I can definitely relate to internally as well. 

What's also unfortunate, is that I sometimes find our cultural conditioning as whole even causes many women to have those similar biases towards each other as well. But how do we all transcend that?

I try to call people out (sometimes in private) when I suspect it...and also try to routinely question myself as well. I've tried to make scanning for my implicit bias as something I try to bake into all my knee-jerk emotional responses (both positive and negative). Haha, but it's not a behavior most seem to do though...at least, judging by the comment section of ANYTHING even remotely controversial online. 

------------------------------
Chris Brown
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 05-20-2020 11:31
From: Nicole Daines
Subject: Is Authenticity Off Limits?

@Colette Martin-Wilde I've experienced this dynamic as well. It's not enough to present ideas confidently, but there's another layer of consideration around making sure we're very considerate of others while also being likable and not "know-it-alls." It's a lot to balance, and something I don't think the other gender needs to consider as heavily, although I'd welcome the other gender to comment. :) 

Don't get me wrong, there's a place for stylistic and "how others will perceive you" feedback, however women tend to get a heavier dose of this than men, in my experience. This kind of non-tangible feedback is harder to improve upon, and meanwhile we may be missing out on something skills- or relationship-oriented that we could also be improving to help us get ahead, know our stuff, and present ourselves confidently as well.

------------------------------
Nicole Daines

Original Message:
Sent: 05-20-2020 08:43
From: Colette Martin-Wilde
Subject: Is Authenticity Off Limits?

I really appreciate this message.  Disguising and suppressing your authentic self is exhausting. For all of my career I've had to deny my authentic female self, forced to adhere to a litany of things that women should do, should NOT do, quash your "feminine" instincts and find your inner male, as it were. Case in point:  in one performance review, I was taken to task once for being "too much like a mom."  The offending characteristics were not specified, but the message was clear that being "like a mom" is a bad thing. I can attest that the skills I've learned "being a mom" are more than applicable in the workplace.  They are crucial .  "You're too much like a dad" said no one, ever.

You can't be your best self and do your best work if you can't bring your whole toolbox to work with you. Being an ally goes a long way to helping each other express themselves with authenticity and care. It's gratifying to see the workplace evolve in this way.

------------------------------
Colette Martin-Wilde
Back room office, 1st floor, brick house.

Original Message:
Sent: 05-19-2020 07:24
From: Courtney Drew
Subject: Is Authenticity Off Limits?

As someone who has a pretty energetic and emotive personality style, I've often grappled with the same question(s) Dan Clay wonders in his 4 minute video, "Why you should bring your whole self to work." If you've got 5 minutes, I highly recommend watching. If you don't have that time today, bookmark it and come back to it when you can. Either way, consider one of his last thoughts: 

"There's no one kind of way to be a leader. It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them." 

What are some of your individual strengths? How have you found ways to highlight them in your work? Have you ever been surprised by the reactions of your coworkers, clients, or bosses?


About the video: Dan Clay was worried about being dismissed as "too gay" at work, so he dialed down his personality. But then his alter ego, Carrie Dragshaw, went viral online. Here's what happened next.


------------------------------
- Drew
------------------------------

It's kind of funny the contrast between the start of my professional life and now. In the beginning, there was a very clear distinction between "Work Chris" and "Real Chris." I didn't let work people into my personal life. It's like I had this alter-ego performing, touring, and even co-founding a record label...and then I'd bottle it all up, wake up the next morning, put on my tie, and not a person in the office knew of it.

Then fast forward to years later and most of the people in my department had been to my house (and vice versa), they've supported me in the oddest of my creative endeavours (like the 2 seasons we played a sport I created), felt comfortable sharing the most random of thoughts, and ultimately what I'd consider as pretty close to my "authentic self." But a lot of that came with not only a huge culture shift within the department but the organization as a whole. Which took time.

In either case, I was generally outspoken about work-related ideas. But it was so freeing to be able to eventually be my naturally silly self and still feel like I could be taken seriously when I present an idea. Or to be able to present myself at work (visually) much closer to how I am outside of work. As a minority, it's a luxury I don't ever take for granted, knowing there are many who don't feel they're afforded that level of "authenticity" at their workplaces. It's a considerable part of why I've stayed.

------------------------------
Chris Brown
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 05-19-2020 07:24
From: Courtney Drew
Subject: Is Authenticity Off Limits?

As someone who has a pretty energetic and emotive personality style, I've often grappled with the same question(s) Dan Clay wonders in his 4 minute video, "Why you should bring your whole self to work." If you've got 5 minutes, I highly recommend watching. If you don't have that time today, bookmark it and come back to it when you can. Either way, consider one of his last thoughts: 

"There's no one kind of way to be a leader. It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them." 

What are some of your individual strengths? How have you found ways to highlight them in your work? Have you ever been surprised by the reactions of your coworkers, clients, or bosses?


About the video: Dan Clay was worried about being dismissed as "too gay" at work, so he dialed down his personality. But then his alter ego, Carrie Dragshaw, went viral online. Here's what happened next.


------------------------------
- Drew
------------------------------

@Chris Brown - this: "But it was so freeing to be able to eventually be my naturally silly self and still feel like I could be taken seriously when I present an idea" ... absolutely! I find that when I can be my authentic self, my brain feels the comfort and safety to operate at it's full capacity (well... mostly anyway). In the times I find myself trying to "act more professional," I exert a lot of brain power focusing on that, rather than the real work to be done. It's exhausting. 

------------------------------
- Drew
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 05-28-2020 16:50
From: Chris Brown
Subject: Is Authenticity Off Limits?

It's kind of funny the contrast between the start of my professional life and now. In the beginning, there was a very clear distinction between "Work Chris" and "Real Chris." I didn't let work people into my personal life. It's like I had this alter-ego performing, touring, and even co-founding a record label...and then I'd bottle it all up, wake up the next morning, put on my tie, and not a person in the office knew of it.

Then fast forward to years later and most of the people in my department had been to my house (and vice versa), they've supported me in the oddest of my creative endeavours (like the 2 seasons we played a sport I created), felt comfortable sharing the most random of thoughts, and ultimately what I'd consider as pretty close to my "authentic self." But a lot of that came with not only a huge culture shift within the department but the organization as a whole. Which took time.

In either case, I was generally outspoken about work-related ideas. But it was so freeing to be able to eventually be my naturally silly self and still feel like I could be taken seriously when I present an idea. Or to be able to present myself at work (visually) much closer to how I am outside of work. As a minority, it's a luxury I don't ever take for granted, knowing there are many who don't feel they're afforded that level of "authenticity" at their workplaces. It's a considerable part of why I've stayed.

------------------------------
Chris Brown

Original Message:
Sent: 05-19-2020 07:24
From: Courtney Drew
Subject: Is Authenticity Off Limits?

As someone who has a pretty energetic and emotive personality style, I've often grappled with the same question(s) Dan Clay wonders in his 4 minute video, "Why you should bring your whole self to work." If you've got 5 minutes, I highly recommend watching. If you don't have that time today, bookmark it and come back to it when you can. Either way, consider one of his last thoughts: 

"There's no one kind of way to be a leader. It's about finding your strengths and finding ways to amplify them." 

What are some of your individual strengths? How have you found ways to highlight them in your work? Have you ever been surprised by the reactions of your coworkers, clients, or bosses?


About the video: Dan Clay was worried about being dismissed as "too gay" at work, so he dialed down his personality. But then his alter ego, Carrie Dragshaw, went viral online. Here's what happened next.


------------------------------
- Drew
------------------------------